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Author Topic: I want a thread about Charlie Brooker.  (Read 43553 times)

Offline beautiful trouble
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« on: Aug 12 2009, 10:19 AM »

Charlie Brooker deserves his own thread because:

1. He writes regular articles for the Guardian, usually television reviews for his Screen Burn column but sometimes just on any old thing

2. He wrote his own horror series about zombies attacking the Big Brother house

3. He presents his own programs on Channel 4 and BBC Four

4. His Screen Burn book is the only book I've actually cried from laughing at, with gems such as this:

Quote
In fact, I can only think of five more painful things you could do with your scrotal sack [than waxing it], which I'll list for the hell of it: 1) Slam it in a filing cabinet. 2) Catch it on a lathe. 3) Place it inside a George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine and repeatedly wallop the lid with your fists. 4) Tie one end of a tow cable round the Marble Arch monument, the other round your egg basket, leap onto a motorbike and see how close you can get to Hyde Park Corner before losing consciousness. 5) Declare it part of the 'axis of evil' and convince the Americans to wage a five-week bombing campaign against it (don't wax it first - it'll help your case if it's already wearing a beard).

If you are not familiar with his work and enjoy a brand of graphically violent yet witty humour I would strongly suggest going to http://www.youtube.com/xthemusic and watching some Screenwipe or Newswipe.

There, now I don't have to spam the Television thread with him anymore.
this article does not so much have an issue of neutrality as lack of actual factual information.
Offline lorca
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« Reply #1 on: Aug 12 2009, 10:45 AM »
Quote
2) Catch it on a lathe.

This.  :lol:
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #2 on: Aug 12 2009, 10:55 AM »
Charlie talks about 'aspirational TV' and how it's a load of bollocks.

"They enjoy a load of dick and shoes, why don't you?"
this article does not so much have an issue of neutrality as lack of actual factual information.
Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #3 on: Aug 12 2009, 10:56 AM »

Charlie Brooker deserves his own thread because:

1. He writes regular articles for the Guardian, usually television reviews for his Screen Burn column but sometimes just on any old thing

2. He wrote his own horror series about zombies attacking the Big Brother house

3. He presents his own programs on Channel 4 and BBC Four

4. His Screen Burn book is the only book I've actually cried from laughing at

5. Both Laura and I have absolutely enormous guilty-pleasure crushes on him. :sunshine: :jonny:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #4 on: Aug 12 2009, 10:57 AM »
Well, that too. :sunshine: :jonny:


 :wub: :wub: :wub:
this article does not so much have an issue of neutrality as lack of actual factual information.
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #5 on: Aug 12 2009, 11:01 AM »
Oh oh oh! I forgot to mention (the now sadly defunct) http://www.tvgohome.com/ - fake listings in a Radio Times stylee - and http://www.zeppotron.com/unnovations/ - the even more demented version of Sky Mall.

ETA:

 :sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine:
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Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #6 on: Aug 12 2009, 11:20 AM »
:lol: why have I not seen unnovations before??? So glad the office is mostly empty today and I can wheeze hysterically to myself.  :wub:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #7 on: Aug 12 2009, 12:03 PM »
Hey Nattie. Here he is with no shirt on, talking about being hard. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgDoPvr3VT4
this article does not so much have an issue of neutrality as lack of actual factual information.
Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #8 on: Aug 12 2009, 12:05 PM »
Hey Nattie. Here he is with no shirt on, talking about being hard. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgDoPvr3VT4
IHU because I can't watch videos at work and that above sentence is so incredibly fluff it may have made me implode. :jonny: :censor:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #9 on: Aug 12 2009, 12:10 PM »
Hey Nattie. Here he is with no shirt on, talking about being hard. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgDoPvr3VT4
IHU because I can't watch videos at work and that above sentence is so incredibly fluff it may have made me implode. :jonny: :censor:
I may or may not have done that on purpose. :jonny:
this article does not so much have an issue of neutrality as lack of actual factual information.
Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #10 on: Aug 12 2009, 12:14 PM »
Hey Nattie. Here he is with no shirt on, talking about being hard. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgDoPvr3VT4
IHU because I can't watch videos at work and that above sentence is so incredibly fluff it may have made me implode. :jonny: :censor:
I may or may not have done that on purpose. :jonny:
IHU MOAR
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #11 on: Aug 14 2009, 04:37 PM »
*dances around in her own little happy Brookerspace*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLdHWng-3v8 this is the beginning of his Screenwipe news special, which I think was sort of the inspiration to do the Newswipe series... it's very good, talks about Fox and CNN as well as UK news and how current events get brought to us by the media.

I think one of the things I love is that on the one hand he does actually try to teach you things - like this stuff about the news, or about the process of creating a program from idea to actually seeing it on screen, and just how much hassle it is to film someone falling off a log - and then he does things like "The Ten Biggest Cocks & She-Cocks in Advertising", which is him just shouting at the screen while sat in his living room in pure futile vitriol. :sunshine:
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Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #12 on: Aug 16 2009, 03:19 PM »
I just watched Charlie Brooker shirtless five times in a row.

I need Brooker Addicts Anonymous.  :unsure: I hope he lives in Stamford Hill or something so when I move he'll be within easy reach of my fangirly grasp.  :shifty:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #13 on: Aug 16 2009, 03:30 PM »
:lol: I love you. :wub:

TEAM BROOKER- yeah you know the rest :jonny:
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #14 on: Aug 18 2009, 06:57 PM »
OMG Nattie and I were laughing at YHBW soooo much tonight! :sunshine: BIBLEMAN. Oh dear lord. :sunshine: And Nicky Campbell having to shout "I'M A DIIIIIICK" before Watchdog starts :sunshine:.  It seemed to go a lot quicker than it has other weeks, too!
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Offline green gloves
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« Reply #15 on: Aug 18 2009, 07:02 PM »
:lol: I thought that too, actually. The speediness.
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #16 on: Aug 19 2009, 06:12 AM »
I think it helped having David Mitchell there 'cause he's sharp as all hell and has the same kind of humour that Charlie does. (Yeah I have a crush on David Mitchell too. :jonny:)

The whole Total Wipeout bit was hilarious, really. :sunshine: LOOK HE DONE FELL IN THE WATER!
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #17 on: Aug 20 2009, 10:31 AM »
Quote from: twitter
charltonbrooker Can confirm: Gameswipe 1x50min special = coming soon; end-of-year Screenwipe special = Dec 09; Newswipe s2 = early 2010
:cornholio: :cornholio: :cornholio:
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Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #18 on: Aug 26 2009, 11:55 AM »
Quote from: twitter
charltonbrooker Can confirm: Gameswipe 1x50min special = coming soon; end-of-year Screenwipe special = Dec 09; Newswipe s2 = early 2010
:cornholio: :cornholio: :cornholio:
:cornholio: :cornholio: :cornholio:
Did you see YHBW last night? He and Victoria Coren had loads of banter, and now I quite fancy her too. :jonny:  :sunshine: TAKE COLD SHOWER, BRAIN.

8 out of 10 Cats was on after it, which I normally despise, but Charlie was guesting so I watched it and he was all self-deprecating and he embarrassed Jimmy Carr ( :stanley: clever Charlie, I hate Jimmy Carr) and :wub: :wub: :wub:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #19 on: Aug 26 2009, 12:00 PM »
I didn't get home until about 5 to 11 so I missed it :( I'm gonna dig it up on 4OD tonight. And I didn't know he was on 8 Out of 10 Cats! :o
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Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #20 on: Aug 26 2009, 12:04 PM »
Yeah, he was a panellist on one episode. It was an old repeat, though, from before Obama got elected I think. Still, Charlie is as gorgeously self-loathing as ever. He talks about all his relationships lasting as long as it takes for his girlfriend to pass another clean man in the street and then she'll leave him :lol: :wub:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #21 on: Aug 26 2009, 12:10 PM »
:lol: Poor love. :wub:
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Offline green gloves
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« Reply #22 on: Aug 26 2009, 02:38 PM »
:lol: I love Victoria Coren. :stanley: Only Connect! Best quiz show on tv at the moment. Other than university challenge, clearly. :stanley:

That said, I like Giles Coren, too. Must be a family thing :erm:
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #23 on: Sep 07 2009, 05:58 AM »
Sometimes Mr Brooker's Comment Is Free articles are a bit hit and miss, but I loved today's: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/07/charlie-brooker

Quote
Perhaps astrophysics stories should come with a little warning. Just as graphically violent news reports tend to be preceded by a quick disclaimer advising squeamish viewers that the following footage contains shots of protesters hurling their own severed kneecaps at riot police – or whatever – maybe brain-mangling science reports likely to leave you nursing an unpleasant existential bruise for several hours should be flagged as equally hazardous. How can I flip channels and enjoy Midsomer Murders once I've been reminded of the crushing futility of everything? I can't even get worked up about the murders in that kind of mood. Yeah, kill him. And her. And them. Sod it. It's all just atoms in an unfathomable vortex.
:sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine: :sunshine:
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #24 on: Sep 25 2009, 06:36 PM »
Gameswipe next Tuesday, 10pm on BBC4! :cornholio: :cornholio: :cornholio: CHARLIE OMG! :cornholio:
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Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #25 on: Sep 26 2009, 01:19 PM »
So soon? :cornholio: There goes my plans of doing anything on Tuesday night other than gaze at Mr Brooker's face :sunshine:
"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Gene Hunt, your DCI. It's 1973, almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops."
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #26 on: Sep 28 2009, 04:49 PM »
Quote from: twitter
charltonbrooker I'm on Would I Lie to You on BBC1 tonight. They don't let me on BBC1 v often: research shows my face makes 1 in 3 ppl vomit themselves dead
And then the other 2 of the 3 enjoy it far more than they probably should :jonny:

Chhhaaaarrrrliieeee :cornholio:
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #27 on: Oct 16 2009, 01:32 PM »
Charlie's on Have I Got News For You tonight! :cornholio:

He should just hire me as his publicist or something. :sunshine:
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Offline sans éclat
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« Reply #28 on: Oct 16 2009, 01:36 PM »
A really fucking hateful and bigoted woman named Jan Moir (who writes for the Daily Mail, quelle surprise) has written an incredibly homophobic article about the untimely death of pop star Stephen Gately.

....Charlie Brooker responded to it, perfectly, within less than an hour of reading it. I love him.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/16/stephen-gately-jan-moir?showallcomments=true&commentpage=3&commentposted=1
"Who the hell are you?"

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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #29 on: Oct 16 2009, 01:39 PM »
I've been following everything going down on Twitter. Good to see so many awesome people are speaking out against it. :rainwave:
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #30 on: Oct 31 2009, 01:41 PM »
Charlie's doing a book signing at the Covent Garden Fopp on Monday, 6pm!  :o :o :o Someone go so I can perv vicariously through them!

ETA: It's sad that I'm actually considering getting the coach down just for this, isn't it? :phil: I didn't even do that for the 93 Ft East gig.

ETA2: Also, Dead Set is on E4 at 10pm tonight! Since I have zero plans for Halloween, I'll be watching.
« Last Edit: Oct 31 2009, 01:55 PM by beautiful trouble »
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Offline green gloves
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« Reply #31 on: Oct 31 2009, 02:31 PM »
:o I might go to that! An excuse to go to fopp's good, too! :o
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #32 on: Oct 31 2009, 02:46 PM »
:o I might go to that! An excuse to go to fopp's good, too! :o
Yes yes yes do! Seriously if I can't go I neeeeeeed someone else to be there. :cry: CHARLIE OMG. :wub:
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Offline green gloves
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« Reply #33 on: Oct 31 2009, 06:45 PM »
:lol:! D'you want a book signed, or anything?
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #34 on: Oct 31 2009, 07:00 PM »
OMG PLEASE WOULD YOU? :jonny: :jonny: :jonny: I've texted Nattie about it and she said she wanted to go so she might be able to get me one, but she didn't reply when I told her what time it started. But I think she's busy doing feminist things tonight so I'll ask her again tomorrow. If it turns out she can't make it, would I be able to send you the cost of the book to get one for me? And then will you tell him that I want to lick his face? (You don't have to do the last bit.)
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #35 on: Oct 31 2009, 09:28 PM »
Caitlin, thank you for just posting this:



 :wub: :wub: :wub:
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Offline Caitlin
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« Reply #36 on: Oct 31 2009, 09:38 PM »
That's quite alright.  :stanley:

Thanks to all of you for posting in this thread. I read it for the first time this morning, and I thought to myself, "Hmm, I will have to check this Charlie Brooker fellow out."

And now I have been converted - he's hilarious!

...And a bit attractive. :jonny:
The user formerly known as Eskimo.
Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #37 on: Oct 31 2009, 09:41 PM »
:D he's the best ever!

...And a bit attractive. :jonny:
Yeah, you're preaching to the choir there. :jonny:

ETA: I just finished watching Dead Set. Oh Charlie. I should have seen that ending coming, shouldn't I? :colin: Still, Zombie!Davina McCall ftw!
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Offline beautiful trouble
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« Reply #38 on: Nov 01 2009, 02:38 PM »
Ahhhh, Nattie can't make it to the signing 'cause she's working. D: Woe!
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Offline green gloves
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« Reply #39 on: Nov 01 2009, 02:55 PM »
Aaargh, there's a talk by Hew Locke at college at 6 D: I was planning on going to that. Bugger! I want to see Charlie :(
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